Montessori Childrens House
of the west coast

Limits and Structure

Posted on Thursday, March 27, 2008

A child must experience clear, consistent and appropriate expectations, guidelines, feedback, and enforcement/follow through in order to feel secure.  Be sure to present your child with clear advanced warnings regarding changes that may lead to parental enforcement, especially if there is a change in routines.  When not adhering to established limits, a child should be given limited choices regarding how to proceed and a parents should take a firm but kind stance in the enforcement procedure.  Remember the guidelines for collaboration. 

For example, if you are dropping off your child at school, be consistent in how you approach the drop off process. You may want to give a warning that you will soon be at school so that he can prepare himself for the transition.  When you arrive, let him know that it is time to leave the car and go to class.  If he does not comply, give him a choice � he can get out of the car on his own or with assistance. If you or another adult help him, please be patient and gentle.  After school talk to your child about the issues and have him think of solutions for the future.  This works very well with slightly older children.  Expect your child to test the limits and please do not take it personally.  As your child develops, have the rules and limits reflect those changes. Young children need fairly firm guidelines and expectations.  Older children can take more responsibility for the process and some variation might be possible. This also depends on the personality of your child.